Reflections on My Life

I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. The other night I was looking through some papers and I came across my Aunt Mandy’s obituary. She was eight years older than me and only twenty when she was killed in a car accident eight years ago. I paused as I read that number—twenty…that’s how old I am now. It made me think of how life is so short and full of unexpected surprises, some good…some bad.

I’m sure my parents were surprised, shocked, when they discovered shortly after I was born that I had a heart murmur and a hole the size of a dime between the chambers of my heart. I’m sure they were anxious when I would sometimes turn blue from lack of oxygen when I cried.

I remember when I found out, as a freshman in high school, that I needed a second back surgery. I went light headed and almost passed out. The first surgery hadn’t done what the doctors had hoped in stopping the curve from increasing, and now I had to be cut open again and have metal rods and screws attached to straighten my spine. The added hardware in my back would mean decreased flexibility, essentially none through most of my back.

And yet as I think back on these experiences my family and I went through, I can really see how God has really blessed and been gracious. Had I been born 40 years earlier, when there was no surgery to fix congenital heart defects like I had, I wouldn’t be alive today. Even if the hole in my heart had closed by itself, the progression of my scoliosis would have at the very least made for a lot of back pain, as well as a disfigured posture and the possibility for other physical problems.

I can’t remember what it was like to be able to bend and twist my back. But even though my range of motion and flexibility has been severely decreased, I’m thankful I’m not in constant pain. Even though I will most likely continue to have issues with my heart, I am thankful I live in this current age of modern medicine.
I wouldn't have chosen to have the health issues that I've had, but who would? But in a way I am thankful because through them God has shaped me into the person I am today.

Not Your Typical Freshman

          Another essay from advanced writing class from fall semester '10. For this one the assignment was to write an essay about yourself.

          The experiences during my freshman year of high school were different from those that most freshmen go through. It started at an appointment with my family doctor for the mandatory physical for incoming freshmen. Dr. Long, my doctor since I was born, noticed something wasn’t right. I already knew I had scoliosis—I had had surgery on my back in the fifth grade which fused bone on a bone in my shoulder to try to stop the increasing of the curve. But the curve had grown worse and something needed to be done about it.

            I went back to Dr. Grayhack, the orthopedic surgeon at Children’s Memorial Hospital who had done my first surgery. I had x-rays taken, from a side view and from the back. When Dr. Grayhack showed me those current images compared with the ones from right after my surgery it was evident that the curve had increased quite a bit. Not only was the increase evident on the x-ray images, but it was also visible externally—my left shoulder was higher than my right shoulder. I remember feeling sick to my stomach and like I was going to pass out when the doctor told me I needed another surgery. But before that could happen, I had to go through a lot of different tests to be sure I was able to go through the long surgery.

            One of the tests checked my breathing and lung function since during surgery I would be face down the entire time. I had to sit in a small chamber with clear walls and breathe into and through a tube. Once the test was over, the tech realized he hadn’t shut the door to the chamber and the computer hadn’t recorded any of the results. He had me redo the whole test after he made sure the door was properly closed. I got upset at the time, but looking back I can see the humor in the situation.

            Another test was a kidney ultrasound. I was born with only one kidney and the doctor wanted to make sure the one that I did have was healthy enough to go through a major surgery. For this procedure I had to lie on an examination table and the tech told me to get into a comfortable position; I wasn’t allowed to move until it was over. I got into a position that was comfortable at the time—ankles crossed—but after lying immobile in that position for fifteen minutes, the rest of the hour-long procedure felt like torture.

            Then I had to have my heart tested because I had had open heart surgery as a baby. For this I had to wear a Holter monitor for 24 hours. I had an appointment at a nearby hospital and a technician stuck the electrodes all over my skin and gave me some instructions. I had to wear the monitor on a strap over my shoulder and it was a bit cumbersome to wear it around school all day. I had an appointment with the pediatric cardiologist who had seen me since I was born as well. Everything looked good and I received the go-ahead from him.

            These tests took place over the course of the months after the school year began until December. After all the test results confirmed that it was okay to proceed, the surgery was scheduled for an early Tuesday morning, January 25, 2005. Instead of fusing bone, this time the doctor was going to straighten my spine and use two titanium rods and screws to keep the bones in that position. I arrived at the hospital early that morning and donned one of those much-loved hospital gowns. The nurses prepped me for surgery; the anesthesiologist covered my face with a mask, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery after the surgery.

            I had to stay in the hospital for a week, lying on my back for most of the time. After I was released from the hospital I had to stay home from school for a whole month. One of the teachers from school that I knew pretty well came and tutored me during that time so I kept up pretty well with my classes. The surgery as since affected my life as well, considering I can’t bend my back except for at the neck and at the waist.

My first semester of high school was different from the typical high school freshman’s experience. Learning I would need major surgery, going to numerous subsequent doctor appointments, going through the actual surgery, and staying home for an entire month of school certainly qualify as atypical.

Time of Refreshment

I don't know about anyone else, but I really enjoy hearing different speakers other than my own pastor time to time. For the past five days, my home church held a Family Life Conference with speaker Dr. E. Allen Griffith of Biblical Family Ministries.

Not only do you hear a different voice and preaching style, but you also hear topics you wouldn't necessarily hear from your pastor's regular preaching. As you might be able to tell from the name of the meetings, Dr. Griffith preached a variety of messages on the family, specifically about how families should function according to the Bible--as their prayer card states, "Proclaiming God's Plan for the Family."

Unlike some people who might have been less than thrilled to be going to a church service on a Saturday or weekday night, I was genuinely excited and looked forward to hearing each new message.

Some of the things he said stuck out to me:

• is it enough to have a "clear conscience"? you have to have the right values in your heart: based in the Word of God
• The Bible is the Word of God. It tells how to live; Submit to His Word. Wrong thinking: "I know what the Bible says, but..." (1 Corinthians 2:1-16)
• The Bible is revelation--God making Himself known to man: Truth we would not have otherwise known
• The wife is to submit to her husband: submit yourself to your husband so he can stand and fall before God; the husband is to love his wife with a sacrificial love--God says so! 
• If the husband does his part and is a biblical leader and loves his wife, that makes it very easy for the wife to submit to him! (Ephesians 5)
• Give God thanks in every thing. There is a reason for trouble, pressures. God has an abundant, overflowing amount of grace to get you through, to teach you. Let Him! (2 Corinthians 4:7-18)
•  Victory in Christ [Title of message: "Gray Hair and Bald Heads"-for older folks] 
• You are still here for a purpose, to minister. You can impact your children and grandchildren. Be willing to still let God use you.
• Testimony of the psalmist (Psalm 37:25-33): God is faithful to His own--He'll never forsake you.
• Have a spiritual vision: What you do today may have great impact on those coming after you.
• Proverbs 22:6, 15 -- Addressed to parents: train your children. Three aspects: (1) Control them, so they're respectful and obedient (2) Teach them, do things for the glory of God; so they develop their own convictions (3) Love them, express it: say it, hug them.
• John 17:6, 9, 14, 18 -- We are in the world but not of the world. The world is apart from and hostile to God. The world is unchanged in character, but different in face. (Romans 12:1-2; Galatians 1:4)
• Why would we want to be "culturally relevant"? If we compromise with the world in our  churches, to what do we win them?
• Example of Noah: the culture fell apart around him, yet he didn't let it into his life; he wasn't defiled or contaminated by his culture

Each night was a great reminder of all God has given us, through His Word and in individual blessings. I was a bit sad to see the week come to an end, but I hope that the things that God spoke to me about through this great speaker remain and continue to help me to change to be more like Christ.

Reverse...esreveR

I found  this video on facebook and I think it's awesome, so I wanted to share it here.
This is the description from where I got it:

"This is truly mind blowing! You have to watch it 

more than once though to truly capture the genius of it..."

No Shadow of Turning

One of my favorite hymns has always been Great is Thy Faithfulness.  The words have such a great message, speaking of God's faithfulness, no matter what. Not only are the words a great encouragement, but the music itself matches the words so well, it's moving. My college band played an arrangement of this song by David Gillingham named No Shadow of Turning. I absolutely love this arrangement of the song. I couldn't find the entire song online, but here you can listen to a clip of it. (I wish you could hear the rest of the song...it cuts off right at one of my favorite parts...)

Here are the lyrics

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.  

Refrain:

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. 

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! 

It's such an encouragement! God will keep His promises. He'll always be faithful to me, to everyone who claims His promises.
 No Shadow of Turning

Another Toy Story

This is another essay I wrote for Advanced Writing. This essay is a review of Toy Story 3.

Eleven years after space ranger Buzz and the rest of the toys rescued cowboy Woody in the second installation of the Toy Story franchise, the next chapter in the saga debuted. After years of wondering whether the story of Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang would continue or not, fans got their answer when rumors of a third film were finally confirmed and Toy Story 3 was released to audiences in June 2010.

Toy Story 3 once again takes the toys outside the comfort and security of Andy’s house and into the big, wide world. Andy is grown up now and is about to leave for college. He packs Woody up in a box with his things to take to college and plans to put the rest of the toys—Buzz, Mr. Potato Head, Jessie, and the rest of the gang—up in the attic.

Trusting God

A lot of times I find myself in the mindset that if I just had a boyfriend (etc.) I would be happier and more fulfilled. Time and time again I am reminded that I am completely fulfilled right now in Christ. Psalm 118:8 says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Not only do I frequently forget to be content in Christ, but I also expect too much of other people.

Making Time

This is an essay I wrote for my Advanced Writing class last semester. The assignment was an essay about a person. I chose my Grandpa Bradley (dad's dad).

Making Time

As I look back on my life, I see that my grandpa was one of the most influential people of my childhood. For the first ten years of my life my family lived on the same property as he did, just a few dozen yards up a hill from his house. I remember my brothers and I would run down the hill to Grandpa’s house almost every day. One of the things I think of most when I remember my grandpa is the fact that he was always busy. He was always tinkering on his tractor, working in his garden, or fixing tools and machinery. Even though he had retired from the two jobs he had held over the years, he was never idle for as long as I knew him.