A few things that I wrote down throughout the day. Three separate occasions, along a similar theme. So many things go through my mind throughout the day, but I forget them if I don't write them down immediately. A lot of times I'm driving when thoughts occur to me, so I can't write them down. Today I had opportunity to put the things to paper:
I always see and hear more than people think I do. More than they even mean by their words and actions. My mind automatically interprets things in so many ways all at once, usually ending with a conclusion that assumes the worst, or less than positive at best. I may look like nothing is going on, but inside there's a battle waging.
Sometimes I think maybe I'm incapable of opening myself to someone else. That I'm always going to be alone because of this. That people only see my outer self and take no time to get to know the real me. I feel like I'm a different species, or even an alien stuck in this world, with nobody to be with.
I get so lost in thinking about what I want that I forget about my relationship with God. I need to focus on that, instead of the things I'm disappointed about in life.
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